My kid says the funniest things

I feel like I should be writing to Bill Cosby about the funny things Isabella says; her little mind works in mysterious ways...

Bathtime for Daddy

Matt and I were busy this weekend working on the house, and at one point we both decided a break was in order. We were both in the living room and Bella decided to crawl onto Matt's lap for a cuddle; once there, she leaned over to give her dad a kiss and quickly drew back - she then said in a very loud voice "Daddy, you need a bath!" Apparently, it was hot work and Matt had gotten a little sweaty! Matt looked at me and we both laughed - kids do tell the truth.

Car Picnics

After all the work was done, we decided that we should take a break and head out to Williamsburg, since we still had some school clothes to buy for Isabella. Once we were on our way, Isabella asked if we were going to go to Sonic for dinner, and we said OK. Well, once we got to Williamsburg, the heavens opened up with the most spectacular thunderstorm! Not like that was going to stop us -- we still went to Sonic and got some dinner. Isabella was very excited because we were having a 'car picnic' -- she absolutely loved it, and has decided that we should have car picnics more often.

Bella Arnone, Time-Out Patrol

Another day, Bella, Ben & I were at the UPS store and there was one other person in front of me who was taking an annoyingly long time to get her package shipped. This woman kept asking more and more questions until even the lady helping her was becoming exasperated. Isabella was playing with a puzzle that they had there, and Ben was chewing on a teething toy, and behaving quite well for the amount of time that we had to wait.

After what seemed like hours, the lady's transaction was being totalled, and she then began complaining about the price. I sighed loudly, and Isabella looked over at me and said, "She needs a time out Mommy, she's not nice!" If I could have turned bright red, I would have -- honestly, the lady was being a bitch and did indeed need a time out. I looked at Isabella and explained that since there was a wait, would she like to go to Panera now instead of later; of course, she said yes, and I was able to escape a very embarassing situation.

When we went back, the sales ladies told us that Isabella's perfectly-timed verbal smack down made their day, and Isabella was rewarded with a lollipop!

Ow, you might want to have a doctor look at that...

As you know from previous posts, Matt and I have had on hell of a month, and I for one am glad that our house is almost back to normal. Since we have been working really hard on repairing the house and Matt is also putting in long days with work, we both have not been getting a lot of sleep either because Ben has been sick and teething for the past six weeks!

Keeping this in mind, imagine Isabella going upstairs to tell her father last Friday that lunch was ready. When Matt came down, he told me that she sat on his lap, looked into his eyes, and informed him that his eyes were cracked! (They were bloodshot from looking at a computer screen for a couple of hours and lack of sleep).

Got Neck?

Bella and I were putting together a puzzle on the floor of her room, and she had her chin resting on the top of her chest. At one point, she sat up and touched her chin, and then her chest, and said "Oh no! Oh no!"

When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I lost my neck!"

Once again feeling her chin and then chest, I explained that her neck was still there just that it was hidden when she touched her chin to the top of her chest. I helped her feel her chin and chest and then her neck, she looked at me and said "Mommy, you helped me find my neck!" (LOL - supermommy to the rescue)

Kids say the funniest things

My daughter is a very smart, observant little girl and I think sometimes we underestimate how much she is listening and what she is paying attention to. The phrase, "Little pitchers have big ears" certainly applies to her, as these examples show:

Privacy in the Bathroom

Most moms and dads know that once your child can walk, there is very little in your home that remains private. My daughter developed the habit of walking in on my husband & I when either of us were taking a "potty break."

It was that certain time of the month and she walked into the bathroom and asked, "Mommy, is your diaper all right?" "Diaper?", I responded, and then I realised what she meant (LOL). "It's fine," I said and hurried her away.

A few days later, we were attending story time at Barnes & Noble and Isabella was looking around in my daiper bag for a pen. I was chatting to some moms and -- lo and behold -- Isabella comes walking towards me with a little green square in her hand! "Mommy," she said rather loudly, "Here's your diaper!" Oh boy... :)

Everyone around me laughed and was I embarrassed! I have come to realise that enforcing the need for privacy is a lesson that one needs to enforce early and often.

Correspondence

We love Little Einsteins in our house, and Isabella loved the episode about the caterpillar and getting invitations to the annual butterfly party. Since she watched this episode, she was obsessed with waiting for the mailman.

One day, she saw him approaching our house and she opened the door and said "Hello!" and then asked him for our "correspondence." You could have knocked Tom, our mailman, over with a feather. He said he had never had toddler ask him for correspondence. Yeah Einsteins! Yeah Bella!

Are you going to trim me?

Getting Bella's hair trimmed has now become a Daddy and Bella activity; she behaves beautifully for him. I seem to rub her the wrong way and end up having to deal with beasty baby.

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that since her hair was growing it looks like she needed a trim and she looked at me in horror; when I asked her what was wrong, she started crying. After a couple of minutes, I asked again, "What's wrong?" She said, "I am growing; will you trim me too?" I laughingly explained that we only trim hair and nails. Funny how kids' minds work...

Paris, France

Bella has become enamored with the idea of going to Paris and seeing the Eiffel Tower after we watched a Travel channel show about touring Paris.

One Sunday morning, she asked her father if he could take her to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower. We explained that this was not the type of trip that one just took, and that you had to plan these things out. Matt took her to the computer and pulled up some pictures of Paris and she liked looking at it.

A week or so later we were on our way to Vermont and she happened to see a cell phone tower -- a particularly big one in upstate NY -- and she screams excitedly, "We are in Paris, there's the Eiffel Tower!"

Profanity

All right, well...we all use bad language every now and then, and it's no suprise when our kids learn it as well.

In our family, we try to use substitute words, but sometimes it does not work out. One afternoon we all going out together to Barnes & Noble, and were trying to find a parking spot, and the only one available is one that the guy next door had parked really badly; needless to say, a lot of manuvering was required. At one point, Matt said "F#$K!" and, without missing a beat, we hear a little voice chime from the back seat "Suck, Suck!" It's a good thing she could not say "f's"! Daddy was fined $5 for his slip.

On another occasion, Bella was a much faster learner. Matt was working out in the front yard, keeping one eye on what he was doing while keeping the other eye on Bella, who was running around. I needed his attention, and so I called his name from the window right behind where he was working. This accidentally startled him, and he jumped & yelled, "S***!" Like an echo, Bella then yells in the exact same tone, "S***!" Matt & I cracked up, but then had to make sure we weren't making a big deal about it so Bella wouldn't realize it was such an evocative word. Daddy was fined another $5. :)

I would like to thank

There is a popular saying about it taking a village to raise a child; I think that having a great support structure in place is vital to the survival of moms and dads anywhere. Being a parent and having to take care of your job and necessary everyday details can be stressful, so it's nice to know that there are people who you can count on to share that with.

• My husband (without whom this whole kid thing would not have even happened ;-) ), he is the best. As a dad, he rocks even my mom thinks he is one of the most patient, loving dads she has ever been around.


• My OB, Dr. Peter Wilbanks, and his fantastic staff , who always got back to me and managed to fit me into his crazy schedule even when he was working loonnnggg days.


• St. Mary's Hospital in Richmond VA - is the best!!!!!!


• My sister, who next to my husband has been my pillar of strength (even at 3:00 am in the morning). She listened to me, commiserated with me and also told me to get a grip when she thought I was being overly dramatic (who, me?!?)


• My parents who live in South Africa, but called often


• My mother and father in-law who were awesome. They live in NJ, and had to make the trip down to Richmond several times during my pregnancy to help out with everything on incredibly short notice.


• We are so lucky to have a great bunch of friends here in Richmond who brought us meals and helped out with babysitting and kept in constant contact with us.


• Then there are our friends and family that live in other parts of the US and around the world, proving that distance is not a problem when there is a friend in need.

Sometime having shoulder to lean on is the best gift someone can give moms and dads.