How to be a parent?

Is there a "Parenting For Dummies" book? If so, I should have bought that one a while ago. Here's what I have learned about children and it's worth a read (if not a penny :) ):

Buy them stuff lots and lots of stuff that seem to require lots and lots of batteries (thank god for Costco). (Note to self: create TGFC bumper stickers. To do item #4502)

I have to admit I was amazed that they let me take home my daughter -- I was the woman who could barely balance my check book, and budget was a dirty 6-letter word for me! Little did I realise the amount of time and effort and the lack of sleep that went into taking care of a baby. There were times when I wanted my mommy, but there was Isabella and Benjamin's first smiles (not gas! SMILES) and I melted into a pile of mommy mush. The mommy mush quickly resolved itself as I was faced with poopy diapers, teething, drooling and barely making it to the shower; if there was no entourage of flies following me around, that was a good day. :)

Seriously though, I was glad that I was able to be a stay-at-home mom because I would not have missed this for all the tea in China. I love being there when they discover things, and even when they are crying and just need Mommy. These are little memories that I hoard away like a miser hoarding gold because I know that one day in the not-to-distance future my babies will evolve into testy teenagers. We now have friends who are experiencing this phase and I am taking copious notes on how I will not put up with that kind of behavior (LOL). I remember my grandfather and parents mentioning that I was the source off most of their gray hairs -- is that a testament of things to come? ;)

How the stay-at-home parent thing came about? My husband and I decided that the one who was earning less money would be the one to stay home, so that was me. Let me tell you, going from DINK (dual income no kids) to OI2K (one income two kids) was an interesting experience with a lot of heated discussions about why I could not buy that adorable DKNY outfit for Isabella to go home in?!? It was cheap, relatively speaking - it only cost a couple of cans of formula and we could afford it, right? Holy cannoli - babies are not cheap! Between diapers, formula and clothes that it seems they wear for a minute, we were constantly trying to catch up on sleep.

But things get easier once they sleep through the night. We have a well-thumbed through copy of On Becoming Babywise, which is one of the best baby books out there. Like anything worth having, if there is no blood, sweat and tears involved, can you ever really appreciate it?

Our rule for sleeping babies is "You wakey, you takey" :-). I have honestly never worked so hard my entire life; if I had devoted this much time and energy to my job, Donald Trump would be working for me!

I think ultimately babies don't care if they have designer clothes or ride in the $800 stroller --baby throw-up looks the same on hand-me-downs as it does on the expensive stuff. Children want hugs, kisses, cuddles and love, and the last time I checked those were all free and in abundant supply.

Any time that you can spend with children is time well-spent and anyway, who cares if your dust bunnies are as big as their cousins in the garden? And that your furniture has a thick coating of dust? We call that an art project waiting to happen! Kids grow up so fast, and I guarantee you that they will remember the rainy day you spent playing in the fort under the dining room table more than that the furniture was always as clean as a museum.