Great website

I found a totally cool website today and will be placing a sizable order with them; its called Zazzle and I stumbled upon this site that has tons of t-shirts because of the great shirts on Lesley's blog. I am going to be doing some damage there I can tell you! My favorite right now is "Pimp my slide" and "IPood" for Ben. Isabella likes the Barbie shirts( of course) and if they don't have any t-shirts that you like, you can make your own. Totally worth checking out

www.zazzle.com

Potty Diaries Act III - By Jove, I think she's got it!

We have had a month of success with no accidents with regards to potty training, and now I am so very happy to report that Isabella is fully POTTY TRAINED!!! (picture this me doing a victory dance in my pj's -- OK, that's a little scary, but you get the idea ;) )

Matt and I are over the moon that she figured it out and is actually really good at all the bits and pieces that go along with the business of going to the bathroom by yourself -- well, except for the part about taking off her clothes and running around naked the first chance she gets. Not surprisingly, her new word is "nudist" :-)

We rewarded her good behavior with a toy of her choice, and of course once we got to Target, she said that she would like a lollypop!! Matt and I told her that she could pick out a toy and after much persuading by us she did; I think we wanted her to have a reward more than she did, so for now we can check the box on that challenging part of parenthood.

Maddie McCann and other sad turns of events

I have taken a couple of days off from blogging because I was feeling a little lazy to sit down and type, but I have had all these thoughts bouncing about my head and needed an outlet.

I feel for the parents of sweet little Madeline, but let's get back to the facts here, people! These are two highly-educated, reasonably well-off people who made the decision to leave their 3 children alone, asleep, with the door open, while they went off and had dinner with friends; not only that, but from what eye witnesses have said, it did not sound like the first time that they did that on their vacation.

Did it not occur to these people to hire a babysitter? They were in a resort area, and I am betting that babysitting help could have been found. Secondly, takeout dinners - does that concept ring a bell?

I hope that Madeline is found alive, but I have serious doubts about her parents; I even have doubts about whether the other children should be allowed to stay with them. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about this -- we too know people who have left their children alone while they have gone over to neighbor's houses, and have used thier baby monitors to listen for their children. This whole ugly, sad tale should be a cautionary tale to everyone: no one knows if Maddie wandered off to find her parents, or if someone came in and kidnapped her (which leads to the question of why not take the younger kids as well?)? In the end, it's Maddie and probably her siblings who ended up paying the highest price in this whole unfortunate series of events.


I am by no means the best parent out there -- after all, I did mention on a couple of occasions wanting to list my kids on Ebay when they were more than a handful, and my daughter did lock me out off the house and the car -- but I am terrified of what the kids would do if I was gone even for a little while; it's not a chance that I am willing to take. If anyone out there knows whether it is a crime to leave your kids alone while you go over to the neigbors for awhile, will you let me know? Is that child abuse? I can't imagine that this is something that the law would allow you to do.

OK, now here's the other part that I don't get -- why have people like J.K. Rowling, David Beckham and Richard Branson chosen to make this their cause? Yes, I understand that all of these people are parents, but the cynical part of me is wishing that missing children all over the world would warrant such attention as well!

(Hey, like I said, this is the cynical part of me talking and sometimes it's hard to shut her up)

This by no means is an attack at Maddie and her parents, but I am curious as to why people have forgotten how this whole sorry tale came about in the first place.

Stewed Tomato recipe found! :)

This weekend we went apple picking right outside of Charlottesville, and on our way we stopped at Michie (pronounced "Micky", btw) Tavern, which happens to have God's own recipe for stewed tomatoes.

By some combination of wits, charm and outright desperation, I somehow managed to get their recipe for stewed tomatoes; actually, it was a very nice woman working in the gift shop, after hearing me recount my numerous attempts at replicating their recipe, who brought me aside and graciously shared their secret ingredient, which was....leftover biscuits! That actually makes sense if you think for a moment that back in Jefferson's day they wouldn't want to waste anything, especially all of those biscuits that went stale without plastic bags or refridgeration.



For those of you who would like to try this out, it's actually a great recipe to have, especially with the holidays coming up. It's something different, tastes delicious, and uses up all those stale biscuits you've got lying around the kitchen. ;) Please let me know if you try it and we can compare notes.

Jefferson Stewed Tomatoes

• 4 cups of tomatoes quartered (can be fresh or canned)


• 1/2 cup of sugar (I tend to use a little less of the sugar)


• Salt and pepper to taste


• 6 stale biscuits (or scones for my friends in SA and the UK); they have to be stale so they don't become dumplings
  

1. Put the tomatoes and sugar into a saucepan and bring to a simmer, slowly simmer until tomatoes are mushy.


2. The biscuits need to be broken into small pieces so that they can thicken the sauce later on.


3. Add the biscuits and stir constantly until its well blended.


4. Add salt and pepper to taste and there you have it.

One more funny anecdote -- when I got back into the car, Isabella was a little upset at me because she thought that I was leaving Aunt Lubsley (Aunt Lesley) behind; she remembered that we went there with her godmother the last time we were in Charlottesville and was upset because she thought we were leaving without her. We explained that Aunt Lesley did not make this trip with us and was safe at home :).

My kid says the funniest things

I feel like I should be writing to Bill Cosby about the funny things Isabella says; her little mind works in mysterious ways...

Bathtime for Daddy

Matt and I were busy this weekend working on the house, and at one point we both decided a break was in order. We were both in the living room and Bella decided to crawl onto Matt's lap for a cuddle; once there, she leaned over to give her dad a kiss and quickly drew back - she then said in a very loud voice "Daddy, you need a bath!" Apparently, it was hot work and Matt had gotten a little sweaty! Matt looked at me and we both laughed - kids do tell the truth.

Car Picnics

After all the work was done, we decided that we should take a break and head out to Williamsburg, since we still had some school clothes to buy for Isabella. Once we were on our way, Isabella asked if we were going to go to Sonic for dinner, and we said OK. Well, once we got to Williamsburg, the heavens opened up with the most spectacular thunderstorm! Not like that was going to stop us -- we still went to Sonic and got some dinner. Isabella was very excited because we were having a 'car picnic' -- she absolutely loved it, and has decided that we should have car picnics more often.

Bella Arnone, Time-Out Patrol

Another day, Bella, Ben & I were at the UPS store and there was one other person in front of me who was taking an annoyingly long time to get her package shipped. This woman kept asking more and more questions until even the lady helping her was becoming exasperated. Isabella was playing with a puzzle that they had there, and Ben was chewing on a teething toy, and behaving quite well for the amount of time that we had to wait.

After what seemed like hours, the lady's transaction was being totalled, and she then began complaining about the price. I sighed loudly, and Isabella looked over at me and said, "She needs a time out Mommy, she's not nice!" If I could have turned bright red, I would have -- honestly, the lady was being a bitch and did indeed need a time out. I looked at Isabella and explained that since there was a wait, would she like to go to Panera now instead of later; of course, she said yes, and I was able to escape a very embarassing situation.

When we went back, the sales ladies told us that Isabella's perfectly-timed verbal smack down made their day, and Isabella was rewarded with a lollipop!

Ow, you might want to have a doctor look at that...

As you know from previous posts, Matt and I have had on hell of a month, and I for one am glad that our house is almost back to normal. Since we have been working really hard on repairing the house and Matt is also putting in long days with work, we both have not been getting a lot of sleep either because Ben has been sick and teething for the past six weeks!

Keeping this in mind, imagine Isabella going upstairs to tell her father last Friday that lunch was ready. When Matt came down, he told me that she sat on his lap, looked into his eyes, and informed him that his eyes were cracked! (They were bloodshot from looking at a computer screen for a couple of hours and lack of sleep).

Got Neck?

Bella and I were putting together a puzzle on the floor of her room, and she had her chin resting on the top of her chest. At one point, she sat up and touched her chin, and then her chest, and said "Oh no! Oh no!"

When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I lost my neck!"

Once again feeling her chin and then chest, I explained that her neck was still there just that it was hidden when she touched her chin to the top of her chest. I helped her feel her chin and chest and then her neck, she looked at me and said "Mommy, you helped me find my neck!" (LOL - supermommy to the rescue)

The search for stewed tomatoes

You would think that living in the south, we would be able to find these at every grocery store; not so, I tell you!

These have become my new culinary obsession, and it all started a month ago with a visit from Isabella's godmother Lesley (this was just before the water pipe incident). We went to Michie Tavern in Charlottesville to have lunch, and for those of you who have not been there, it's an awesome place to visit and the food is delicious! When we were there, we tried some of their stewed tomatoes, and it was the best thing I have had in a while. Needless to say, I have been searching and searching for a recipe, and have yet to find one that can even come close to what they make.

Matt has been my test kitchen; I have been trying to recreate this recipe, and he is great about trying the results and offering comments. I am currently of the opinion that I have to go up there and see if I can find a cookbook that would explain how to make it; or barring that, get them to sell me some of that stewed tomatoes, its not a tough trip to sell because there is a great apple orchard there that makes the one of the most delicious apple pies I have had, you know come to think of it... I see a trip to Charlottesville in my family's future

We're back

Its been a while since I posted anything and this was my original post:

Everyone is finally germ-free and our house is coming together; we even had a good friend, Chris from San Diego, visit. Things upstairs are still a bit of a mess, but I am using this time to get rid of things that we do not need -- the Salvation Army is going to benefit from our 'purging" LOL. In the midst of all the cleaning, painting and laundry, Benjamin's other tooth cut and Isabella decided to give her self a 'princess haircut;' luckily, she cut her hair of one side and not in the front, and I was able to repair the damage. She also is blessed with thick curly hair, so no one can tell what happened :). Hopefully, we succeeded in getting across that it was not a good idea to cut your own hair; I can't see us buying her one of those Barbie dolls that lets you trim and style their hair for an while.

Now, my revised post is apparently we are not germ free - the bloody things keep lingering in our house, but the rest of the stuff is almost all done, just a couple more things to fix up. We are now tackling chores that should have been accomplished a month ago, including the jungle that is our backyard; even our dog had become an expert at swinging a machete to clear a path to her favorite spot in the backyard! But on second thought, dogs with machetes is probably not a good idea, especially if she becomes interested in getting other kinds of bones (yikes!)... ;). We also found out that Ben had developed an allergy to our dog and so now we are trying to find her another home :(. Matt and I are really heart broken as Jesse is a fantastic dog and we have had her for 51/2 yrs but Ben has been really sick and having problems breathing. So, the search for Jess's new family is on, I will keep you posted on how it plays out

The Potty Diaries - pt 2

Yeah, finally some success with regards to potty training. Isabella has been using the potty like a pro, but the automatic flush feature on the bathrooms in most restaurants and at the mall still scares her!

Apparently (like her parents) Isabella needs to do things on her own time table, and that includes going to the bathroom when she wants to, not when she is being nagged to do so. As a matter of fact, our secret weapon was not candy or cake or even m&m's, but new Dora underwear and Dora sheets. She is determined to be a big girl like Dora. :)


We have had accidents, but overall our average is improving! She is so much better at it, and I think she's going to be ready for school in less than a month's time... so the end -- or should I say beginning -- is in sight.

Under the weather :(

Our family has made the acqaintance of the Adenovirus, which if you have never had it, is a nasty, very adaptable little bugger. Between the four of us, we have every permutation of the virus known to man: Ben has the conjunctivitius and rash, Bella the congestion and cough, Matt the achy head and sore throat and me, well, I have bronchitis!

In a way, it's good that it's happening now, because, you know, we don't have anything else going on right now. HA!

So, not surprisingly, we are not a lively bunch, and the kids are being quite good considering that we know they feel awful. We are keeping away from people with kids because we would feel very bad if they got it as well, and in general because of all of the work on our house we are keeping out of trouble :). I promise to write more later once I make yet another run to the pharmacy for more good drugs; for now, things in our household has settled down. Bella is happy with ice cream and Finding Nemo, and Matt and Ben are taking a nap.

When I get a chance, I'll write more.

~~~~~ Heat Wave ~~~~~~

It is unbelievably hot here today, and I remember hearing some people say, 'This is Africa hot!"

News flash people - I have lived, worked and played in Africa, and it gets hot there, but not steamy and uncomfortable like this. It's so hot here in Richmond today that the temp reading in my car reads 105 -- in the shade! I long for winter, not autumn, winter with lots and lots of snow and if you get cold, you can pile on more blankets, another sweater or have some gluwein (that's German mulled wine for those who don't know what that is. It's very good and goes down smoothly and before you realise it, you don't feel cold anymore, just toasty (LOL)).

On a more serious note, I was reading Yahoo! news a couple of weeks ago, and I saw an article about people who forget their children in the car. It was an awful article and my heart was breaking for those parents who have gone through it. It brought about the question of what one should do should you happen to see someone do that; I have often waited to run errands with Matt or the babysitter, so that they can wait with the kids in the car, because sometimes you can accomplish things much faster that way. I prefer to not have to drag them around when it's so hot or cold that it makes the trip unpleasant for everyone.

So, what do you do if you see this happening? Do you call the police? Do you say something to the parents? What about parents who leave their kids alone at night (when the kids are asleep) and go over to the neighbors for a drink? Is that legal? Should we say something? I would be interested in hearing what people have to say about this and if there is a law about this somewhere out there?

Breastfeeding advice

Uh oh, I'm about to jump on my soap box again. RANT ALERT! RANT ALERT! :)

Picture this: Bella, Ben and I are all in the midst of a nasty virus that makes your throat feel like it is on fire and has you thinking if you swallowed anything, your head would explode from the pain! So, I elected to sleep on the couch last night downstairs while everyone else slept upstairs; post nasal drip can be a bear sometimes.

So, I was awake, and I was watching the local news, because in case you don't live (or should I say roast) on the East Coast, you might have heard we are having this little heat wave. Needless to say, as I was watching the weather, an advertisement came on where there was a kid standing there with his back pack on and the little caption says, "No earaches, no drippy nose, guess who's going to school today?" Then his TV mom walks up and hands him his lunch bag. So, you're wondering why I object to this? Well, the next caption says, "Breastfeeding helps with your child's immunity and enables them to fight infections better," and then there are a couple more commercials with beautiful children, with the clear implication that it's all due to breastfeeding!


(THAT'S RIGHT, SPORTS FANS, HERE COMES THE RANT...)


As a mother who had the flu when I delivered my first baby and pneumonia the second, I OBJECT to those statements about the supposed superiority of breastfeeding over formula. Due to circumstances beyond my control, my babies did not breastfeed beyond the first couple of days, and as far as I can tell, my kids don't have half a head. Additionally, every child I know, whether they were breastfed or not, gets ear infections. As a matter of fact, one kid I know who was breastfed for 9 months has chronic ear infections and gets the same, if not more, colds than my daughter, who's a smart, strong, beautiful formula fed baby.

So take that, breast feeding Nazis! Yes, it's not a term I use lightly, but that's how strongly I feel about it!

A mother with a newborn baby should make decisions that work for her and her child/children, and we should not be treated like bad parents because we did not breastfeed. If you can breastfeed your children, good for everyone involved; but if you can't or choose not to, you should not be ostracized by others for making that decision. When I was in the hospital after having Isabella, I had a breast feeding counselor tell me that if I did not breastfeed Isabella, then I would not bond with my daughter -- what utter nonsense!

Along that same line of thought, one can say that parents of adopted children can never bond with their children. I happen to know that that is bullshit (pardon my language), as my husband and his brother are adopted, and their parents are wonderful and love them as much as any other parents would.

So, I say to anyone out there watching these commercials - like most things in life, you need to take it with a pinch of salt and slug the shot of... oops, old habits showing up there - you should listen to what people say and then make the decision that best suits you and your family.

Bella, Ben & Basic Anatomy 101

Isabella and Ben were getting ready to take a bath, and Ben lay on the bath mat naked, enjoying being without a diaper. I have a feeling he will be taking after his sister, who is always willing to shed her clothes and take a bath. I hear her talking to him, and she said, "Don't worry, it will be OK!" Hmmm... I wondered what she was talking about, and I walked into the bathroom where Isabella was patting Ben's arm. She looked up and said "Mom, we have to take him to the doctor!" Since I did not see anything wrong with him and he is not one to suffer in silence, I asked her what was wrong with him? "He's sad!" she said. Okay, I thought, and asked her, "Why is he sad, Isabella?" Without missing a beat, she said,"'cause he has a broken bagina and he wants it to work!" she said, gesturing to his little penis. When I could not contain my laughter and burst out laughing, she looked and me and scowled. I laughingly explained to her that boys don't have vaginas, they have penises; she looked and him shrugged. Later on she commented that it was a 'nice bum' even if it was broken.

The tale of two teeth, and then another two, and then...

In the midst of all the stuff we have going on, Benjamin finally cut his first two teeth! With the top two looking like they might grace us with their presence at any moment -- PLEASE PLEASE -- the prospect of these teeth joining us in the real world also suggests he might start sleeping through the night once again.

He's got this really cute toothless grin going, where he scrunches up his nose & eyes and pushes out his little lower jaw so you can see these two little rice grains poking up through the gum. Make no mistake, one of Matt's ancestors was a piranha, because those little teeth are sharp! He's been biting everything in sight, including fingers, chins, noses, and his sister's hair -- oh, yeah, she loves that. Whenever he tries that, she pulls away and says, "You're not nice, you're a bad BOOOY, you need a time out!" To which he replies with the aforementioned goofy toothless grin. She protests at that, but this is the same girl who will lean in and offer him her hair to pull on if he's upset about something and she doesn't know what to do to help him out. They're really beginning to become devoted to each other, and it's really sweet to see.

Code Orange Day

Code orange?!? As in a Motrin day, lots and lots of Motrin.

Why you ask? Great question...

We had a water pipe burst open at 1:30 am on Tuesday morning. Yeah, for those of you who have had that happen, it was the whole schlemiel. :(

Matt & I woke to Isabella yelling, "It's raining in here!!!!" Matt and I sprang into action when we realised that a water pipe in our new bathroom burst and it was raining over most of our house. Within the first five minutes, we got the kids into the living room where it was dry, shut off the water, and started to use every towel or container that can hold any water whatsoever to try and contain the damage.

From about 2-4am, we started to clear up stuff so we could at least get the kids back to sleep while we work, and I then called the insurance company (the reason I have time to write this is because I am waiting for them to get back to me -- the usual story, right? You pay your premiums on time, but you have to wait for them to get back to you for everything else). In the course of the action-filled night, we managed to get loads and loads of laundry started and get stuff out of the wet bedrooms.

Eventually, the service master guy got here around 10am and told us that we need to clear out the rooms because the ceilings need to come down! Yikes!! We work at a frantic pace, and eventually with the help of our Superbabysitter Katie, we manage to get the most of the furniture out of the bedrooms and into the living room. The second bunch of service master guys arrived in the early afternoon, and then began to demolish the house -- three plaster ceilings partially busted out, with insulation, splinters & all kinds of crap everywhere.

We are trying to find stuff to pack up and move out to a hotel for the duration of this unplanned "renovation," which I was told can be anywhere from 3 days to 6 months. :( This morning, we ventured back to the house to see how the rafters are drying, and to work toward our goal of finishing up our piles of laundry, so we don't have wet clothes sitting around in piles.

Thank heavens Matt's work load is light enough for the moment that we can take the time to do this, not what we had orignally planned on doing mind you. We were in the midst of planning a trip to Disneyworld, the happiest place on earth; I guess we missed the left turn at Albuquerque and ended up in "Renovation Hell-O-Rama," currently occupation 4. I'm sorry if this is sounding like a "Boo hoo is us," thing; "Grrrr" is more like it, because, as frustrating as it is, Matt & I refuse to let this complete pain-in-the-ass be anything more than an inconvenience. We're OK, the kids are OK, and the house will be OK once we get it back into fighting shape. Who knows, maybe we'll do a few minor upgrades we've been discussing while we've got the place under construction

More to follow, tune in next time when you'll hear Ushan say, "F*** this, let's head out to the Outer Banks!"

Coffee

This morning wasn't just a "coffee" morning, it was definitely a 'caw-feeeeeee' morning said in the most desperate voice you can imagine, like guy-crossing-the-desert desperate. Ben is teething up a storm and not suffering in silence or alone. Matt and I are encouraging him to push out those teeth the old fashioned way -- we are currently offering him $1500 for each one, and at this point the sky's the limit on where the bidding will go!

Once breakfast was underway, I found myself attempting to put the gallon on milk away in the cupboard; after my second attempt to put it away, it dawned on me that the milk belonged in the refridgerator and the coffee in the cupboard, not the other way around. Hence the need for coffee to clear up the foggy brain.

I noticed that without coffee, it's pretty difficult to get things going. Since having Ben, I need that jolt of caffeine to help me focus and get my butt in gear. I have often told Matt to 'put the dishes in the washing machine' or to "get that thing off that shelf for me" without indicating at all what I wanted him to move, because I was in the other room and he was in the kitchen looking very confused. I thought language was not a problem between two people who understood each other? (Apparently speaking the same language sometimes helps, but who knew?)

Matt is a consultant who tends to work late hours, and as such has also acquired a coffee habit (that sounds so much better than "addiction", doesn't it?). Isabella has been ring-side to our struggle to wake up and be fully functioning in the morning with her usual watchfulness. She's also a slow riser, and tends to linger in bed in the morning. We were trying to get her up for school one day and she was not moving very fast; Matt finally went in there and said "Bella, it's time for school." She rolled off the bed and onto the floor, where she finally opened her eyes and said, "Tired....coffee." At that moment, Matt & I also realized that cracking up laughing is another way to get yourself going in the morning.

The Potty Diaries

To me, one of the most difficult aspects of parenting to date has been potty training my very independent, stubborn daughter. Isabella has declared a 'jihad' on potty training and has made our potty training experience a tough one to-date. Matt and I deserve a medal (a big shiny one, the size of a car's hub cap - made of chocolate) for perseverance and bravery.

I have read a whole lot of books about potty training, talked to tons of parents, including my mom and Matt's mom and our very patient pediatrician about this, and we finally came to the conclusion that we were going to let Isabella set the tone for this. It seemed the more we pushed and bribed and cajoled, the more she dug her heels in; so we watched videos about potty training, and read books, and generally asked in a very casual way every time we changed a diaper if she would like to try the potty.

We tried asking her if she had to go every 15-30 minutes, and even taking her hand and leading her there, only to have her say 'I don't have any pee-pee yet'. We even tried using M&M's as incentive; that worked for the first couple of times, and then she would say, "No thank you" to the offer of candy for using the potty. We then bought her Dora the Explorer panties, and she was willing to try the potty.

As many of you have probably experienced, we haven't had the same level of success with potty training for pooping as we have with peeing. Most people say that once you get the peeing, the pooping will come shortly thereafter, so getting them to acknowledge they have to pee is the major hurdle. The key point here is getting them to learn their body's signals is the tough part, especially when they are busy playing.

Case in point: on a recent trip to Babies'R'Us, Isabella was busy playing with a toy that was left out by the crib section. Matt was hovering nearby as I was shopping for formula about 50 feet away, and I heard him repeated ask her, "Bella, do you need to go potty?", to which she replied, "No, Daddy" each time. Sounds good so far, right? Well, about a minute later, Matt catches my eye, and then screams across the store, "GET OVER HERE NOW, SHE JUST PEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!" Aye carumba -- I jogged over to where Matt & Bella were standing, and there was a rapidly-expanding yellow puddle of pee where Bella had been standing not more than ten seconds before. This thing was huge -- if it weren't pee, for God's sakes, we could have sold pool memberships! Makes you appreciate the absorbent power of diapers, that's for sure. It was definitely cleanup on the center aisle.

I have often heard people say that no child ever went to college in diapers and I hope that is true! We are trying hard to make sure that Isabella, earns her merit badge for potty training but its been tough going. I would like to think that our efforts are not in vain and that, by the time fall comes around and school starts our efforts would be rewarded with a little girl who is fully potty trained and recognises that this, is an essential part of being independent.

I am sure I will be writing more about our potty training woes and in the mean time I would appreciate any advise, potty training tricks and anecdotes you would like to share

You too were once a baby

For this one, I am dragging out the Eva Peron-like soap box. This is my current pet peeve, but I know that parents are going to relate to this.

A friend and I were at the local botanical gardens where our kids spent the morning playing in the childrens garden; it's a fantastic place totally worth the cost of membership. As it got closer to lunchtime, we made the decision to have lunch in their cafe; like most places, they have a captive audience, so the prices are not the most economical and the quality of the food is OK. My friend has three little boys and I have my little monkeys, and we are both loaded down with diaper bags, bags of wet towels and clothes, and two double strollers! Both of us were the "wide load coming through" kind of kids & parents parade, so by the time we made it through the line and paid for our lunches, the normal dining room was full of people and there was no room available for our large party.

Our kids were hungry, and they have another dining room and the doors were open, so we went in there; we were sure that since the kids were starving and it was close to nap time, we would be in and out in a snap; nevertheless, we figured that most of the people in the main dining room were breathing sighs of relief that we had not joined them.

Here's when it started: we then had the cashier who was rude to begin with come in there and tell us in snotty tone of voice that we were not supposed to be there. Well, since the main dining room was full, the kids were starving and we were carrying trays of food, there was little else we could do other than cop a squat with our brood in the entryway. She kept coming back constantly and checking on us as if we were going to steal the chairs or let our kids finger paint on the walls. We quickly finished up and left.

Quite frankly, I am fed up with people who are amazed that you dare to venture out with -- GASP -- CHILDREN. I understand that they are not always the best behaved or the quietest, but we have a right to be out and about with our children as much as they do.

Harry Potter is to blame ( and no this is not a spoiler!)

A quick note from me: I am not planning on being brilliant this weekend - I am recovering from an attack of the migraine from HELL and am planning on reading the new (and last -- CRY, CRY, SNIFF) Harry Potter book, while trying to iron a pile of laundry that has taken up residence on our arm chair; not all of those at once mind you!

I wanted to share something that a very good friend of ours told me yesterday. She was talking about her teenage daughter and some of the antics that she has been getting up to. At one point, she sighed and said:

"I am not raising a happy child, I am raising a competent adult!"

I loved that, what a great saying! That's one that I would crochet on a pillowcase if I knew how to do that; my skills in that department are somewhat lacking, although I can knit a looooooooooooong scarf (if only because I never learned how to cast off properly ;) ).

Have a great weekend and happy reading!

Are we there yet?

A quick note about this topic...our whole family was on a road trip up to Ikea in Woodbridge, VA (one of my happy places :) ). We were in lots of typical DC traffic and I turned to my husband and said "Are we there yet?" in a whiny baby voice and my daughter who was in the back seat thought that it was very funny to hear mommy talk that way. She cottoned on to the phrase pretty quickly, so now it's become words that we hear almost on a daily basis. I am sure that alot of parents out there can relate to the 'Are we there yet' and 'Why?", or, in our case, "Why not?" phrases.

Kids say the funniest things

My daughter is a very smart, observant little girl and I think sometimes we underestimate how much she is listening and what she is paying attention to. The phrase, "Little pitchers have big ears" certainly applies to her, as these examples show:

Privacy in the Bathroom

Most moms and dads know that once your child can walk, there is very little in your home that remains private. My daughter developed the habit of walking in on my husband & I when either of us were taking a "potty break."

It was that certain time of the month and she walked into the bathroom and asked, "Mommy, is your diaper all right?" "Diaper?", I responded, and then I realised what she meant (LOL). "It's fine," I said and hurried her away.

A few days later, we were attending story time at Barnes & Noble and Isabella was looking around in my daiper bag for a pen. I was chatting to some moms and -- lo and behold -- Isabella comes walking towards me with a little green square in her hand! "Mommy," she said rather loudly, "Here's your diaper!" Oh boy... :)

Everyone around me laughed and was I embarrassed! I have come to realise that enforcing the need for privacy is a lesson that one needs to enforce early and often.

Correspondence

We love Little Einsteins in our house, and Isabella loved the episode about the caterpillar and getting invitations to the annual butterfly party. Since she watched this episode, she was obsessed with waiting for the mailman.

One day, she saw him approaching our house and she opened the door and said "Hello!" and then asked him for our "correspondence." You could have knocked Tom, our mailman, over with a feather. He said he had never had toddler ask him for correspondence. Yeah Einsteins! Yeah Bella!

Are you going to trim me?

Getting Bella's hair trimmed has now become a Daddy and Bella activity; she behaves beautifully for him. I seem to rub her the wrong way and end up having to deal with beasty baby.

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that since her hair was growing it looks like she needed a trim and she looked at me in horror; when I asked her what was wrong, she started crying. After a couple of minutes, I asked again, "What's wrong?" She said, "I am growing; will you trim me too?" I laughingly explained that we only trim hair and nails. Funny how kids' minds work...

Paris, France

Bella has become enamored with the idea of going to Paris and seeing the Eiffel Tower after we watched a Travel channel show about touring Paris.

One Sunday morning, she asked her father if he could take her to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower. We explained that this was not the type of trip that one just took, and that you had to plan these things out. Matt took her to the computer and pulled up some pictures of Paris and she liked looking at it.

A week or so later we were on our way to Vermont and she happened to see a cell phone tower -- a particularly big one in upstate NY -- and she screams excitedly, "We are in Paris, there's the Eiffel Tower!"

Profanity

All right, well...we all use bad language every now and then, and it's no suprise when our kids learn it as well.

In our family, we try to use substitute words, but sometimes it does not work out. One afternoon we all going out together to Barnes & Noble, and were trying to find a parking spot, and the only one available is one that the guy next door had parked really badly; needless to say, a lot of manuvering was required. At one point, Matt said "F#$K!" and, without missing a beat, we hear a little voice chime from the back seat "Suck, Suck!" It's a good thing she could not say "f's"! Daddy was fined $5 for his slip.

On another occasion, Bella was a much faster learner. Matt was working out in the front yard, keeping one eye on what he was doing while keeping the other eye on Bella, who was running around. I needed his attention, and so I called his name from the window right behind where he was working. This accidentally startled him, and he jumped & yelled, "S***!" Like an echo, Bella then yells in the exact same tone, "S***!" Matt & I cracked up, but then had to make sure we weren't making a big deal about it so Bella wouldn't realize it was such an evocative word. Daddy was fined another $5. :)

How to be a parent?

Is there a "Parenting For Dummies" book? If so, I should have bought that one a while ago. Here's what I have learned about children and it's worth a read (if not a penny :) ):

Buy them stuff lots and lots of stuff that seem to require lots and lots of batteries (thank god for Costco). (Note to self: create TGFC bumper stickers. To do item #4502)

I have to admit I was amazed that they let me take home my daughter -- I was the woman who could barely balance my check book, and budget was a dirty 6-letter word for me! Little did I realise the amount of time and effort and the lack of sleep that went into taking care of a baby. There were times when I wanted my mommy, but there was Isabella and Benjamin's first smiles (not gas! SMILES) and I melted into a pile of mommy mush. The mommy mush quickly resolved itself as I was faced with poopy diapers, teething, drooling and barely making it to the shower; if there was no entourage of flies following me around, that was a good day. :)

Seriously though, I was glad that I was able to be a stay-at-home mom because I would not have missed this for all the tea in China. I love being there when they discover things, and even when they are crying and just need Mommy. These are little memories that I hoard away like a miser hoarding gold because I know that one day in the not-to-distance future my babies will evolve into testy teenagers. We now have friends who are experiencing this phase and I am taking copious notes on how I will not put up with that kind of behavior (LOL). I remember my grandfather and parents mentioning that I was the source off most of their gray hairs -- is that a testament of things to come? ;)

How the stay-at-home parent thing came about? My husband and I decided that the one who was earning less money would be the one to stay home, so that was me. Let me tell you, going from DINK (dual income no kids) to OI2K (one income two kids) was an interesting experience with a lot of heated discussions about why I could not buy that adorable DKNY outfit for Isabella to go home in?!? It was cheap, relatively speaking - it only cost a couple of cans of formula and we could afford it, right? Holy cannoli - babies are not cheap! Between diapers, formula and clothes that it seems they wear for a minute, we were constantly trying to catch up on sleep.

But things get easier once they sleep through the night. We have a well-thumbed through copy of On Becoming Babywise, which is one of the best baby books out there. Like anything worth having, if there is no blood, sweat and tears involved, can you ever really appreciate it?

Our rule for sleeping babies is "You wakey, you takey" :-). I have honestly never worked so hard my entire life; if I had devoted this much time and energy to my job, Donald Trump would be working for me!

I think ultimately babies don't care if they have designer clothes or ride in the $800 stroller --baby throw-up looks the same on hand-me-downs as it does on the expensive stuff. Children want hugs, kisses, cuddles and love, and the last time I checked those were all free and in abundant supply.

Any time that you can spend with children is time well-spent and anyway, who cares if your dust bunnies are as big as their cousins in the garden? And that your furniture has a thick coating of dust? We call that an art project waiting to happen! Kids grow up so fast, and I guarantee you that they will remember the rainy day you spent playing in the fort under the dining room table more than that the furniture was always as clean as a museum.

I would like to thank

There is a popular saying about it taking a village to raise a child; I think that having a great support structure in place is vital to the survival of moms and dads anywhere. Being a parent and having to take care of your job and necessary everyday details can be stressful, so it's nice to know that there are people who you can count on to share that with.

• My husband (without whom this whole kid thing would not have even happened ;-) ), he is the best. As a dad, he rocks even my mom thinks he is one of the most patient, loving dads she has ever been around.


• My OB, Dr. Peter Wilbanks, and his fantastic staff , who always got back to me and managed to fit me into his crazy schedule even when he was working loonnnggg days.


• St. Mary's Hospital in Richmond VA - is the best!!!!!!


• My sister, who next to my husband has been my pillar of strength (even at 3:00 am in the morning). She listened to me, commiserated with me and also told me to get a grip when she thought I was being overly dramatic (who, me?!?)


• My parents who live in South Africa, but called often


• My mother and father in-law who were awesome. They live in NJ, and had to make the trip down to Richmond several times during my pregnancy to help out with everything on incredibly short notice.


• We are so lucky to have a great bunch of friends here in Richmond who brought us meals and helped out with babysitting and kept in constant contact with us.


• Then there are our friends and family that live in other parts of the US and around the world, proving that distance is not a problem when there is a friend in need.

Sometime having shoulder to lean on is the best gift someone can give moms and dads.

Why I started this blog?

All right, the important question - why? Well, it's simple, really -- I actually wanted a chance to use the last couple of brain cells I had floating around, and prove that I could still accomplish stuff that was important to me during the day, as well as being super mommy to my two beautiful children Isabella (3 1/2) and Benjamin(6 months), uber wife to my husband Matt (I'd like to think so, we can ask him at a later date :) ), and whipping up a gourmet meal with one kid on my hip and the other one covered from head-to-toe with sand that should have stayed in the sandbox! (Note to self: invent magnetic sand! That'll be to-do item #4,501)

I was inspired to start this blog because I thought stay at home moms could use some space of their own to vent! Yes, I did use the word VENT you know like what happens to a volcano every now and then.

Of course you know what happens if the vent is unable to er...vent? It explodes!

I also think that realising other moms and dads have at some point experienced the same things as you helps. A couple of things that I have experienced are:

• Popcorn seeds and yogos in the nose. Here's a neat trick if that happens to one of your kiddies and they can't blow it out normally: gently pinch the other nostril closed, and put your mouth over theirs like you're doing CPR. A couple of quick, sharp puffs, and you should have the offending bit-o-crap blasting out of your kid's nose at terminal velocity. Just look out for where it lands, or if you're feeling ambitious, go for a new distance record! ;)


• Your kid locking you out of the house (I ripped out a screen window and climbed into my dining room while my daughter yelled her little head off at the front door).


• The same little darling also locked me out of the car and I had to call 911 from my neighbor's house because my cell phone was in my diaper bag. Let me tell you, I felt like the worst mother under the sun as the police officers and firemen wanted to know how she got locked in. She was persuaded to climb out of her seat and open the lock on the door by using a krispy creme donut hole as incentive ( The donut holes were provided by the dashing young police officer, so the rumors are true ;) ).


• And then there is the "Holy Mary Mother of God" diaper incident, AKA my daughter's first attempt at an alphastrike! (For those people who have no idea what I am talking about, it is when you are playing a computer game and want to use all of your weapons at one time. Yes, I am a closet X-Box junkie). My husband and I were on our first trip with our daughter who was 6 weeks old and we were planning on visiting her Grammy and Pop-Pop who live in NJ. Well to make a long story short (and keep our embarassment to a minimum), about halfway there Isabella had a blow-out diaper: it was the stuff of legend, the kind where you wonder where they keep it all?!?! Anyway, we had to pull into a truck stop to change the diaper, clean out the car seat and change the baby's clothes, only to find that we forgot to refill the diaper wipes container and the spare clothes were somewhere in our suitcase! Paper napkins and a bottle of water work just as well, and a new outfit was donned after a frantic search through our weekend bag, which had everything but the kitchen sink! I decided from that point on that I would never be caught without a second set of clothes and enough wipes.

Stay tuned as there is more to come, once the laundry is done, kids are in bed and the dog is fed